YES!! I am so exited! It will take a bunch of sketches and a lot of carrying my sketchbook around but still! I will make this count! Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a cupcake in my eye that I will try my hardest!
this may sound really retarded(and i am ashamed a bit too),but i always have "felt" wings on my back.i am kinda atheist in the sense i do not care for religion at all,so please do not think of stuff like angels,please.
i believe if auras do really exist(as energi of our own),and i can really feel those, i have put my though and made me a par of grey wings since i was small. but probably is just madness. also, i always dream of flying,or running really fast too. drawing myself as pegasus was quite the obvious choice for me.i am sure i would love to fly like rainbow dash does, fearless,acrobatic and fast! what kind of pony you feel to be? Unicorn, hearth,alicorn?(well,i guess pegasus not XD, but is Fluttershy really afraid of heights??) i really want to know! the really strange part is this: even though i love orange,red,purple, etc i cannot think of myself being another color than light medium grey XD dunno why, once a man told me i had cian aura color XD i dunno what to think!
First, this is the internet. There is no shame here, be who you are.
That being said, I've always been a fan of the idea of an aura. When you are truly yourself, you exude an impression of whatever you are, why wouldn't there be some way to see that?
This is a really long comment. If you want to know about me, get some popcorn and get reading.
Feeling like you should be winged isn't that foreign a concept to me, although my version is a tad bit different. For as long as I can remember I've had this vision of myself possessing a sort of channel, a brace if you will. When I'm mad or stressed I see it as something that can absorb those feelings, which helps me calm myself (kinda like going to your happy place, but not requiring the imagination). When I'm feeling dull or useless it comes across as a source of inspiration and ability - I've tried to write about it many many times, but can never nail it down. Most importantly, when I'm just by myself lost in thought, I see it as some sort of impossible appendage, and imagine I'm able to change the world around me just by willing it to be changed, without having to touch it or even raise a hand towards it.
Because of this, I would have to say I would be a unicorn. Born with the ability to effect the world around me in ways most normal people can barely imagine, all with a whim and some magic.
A cyan aura is a bit of a mystery to me, but I can tell you this. Turquoise has to do with health, mental and physical, and the ability to make others feel better through compassion. Soft blues relate to clarity of truth and peacefulness. Blue in general means calm, sensitivity, and above all else love.
Your pegasus self there, I never actually saw it as gray. Which I suppose is a good thing considering your aura. Gray means guardedness, an unwillingness to show your true self. I always saw your 'nimble spirit' as silver, which as an aura means spiritual abundance, intuition, and a willingness to accept new ideas.
I haven't seen my aura (some say you can photograph them), but I'm told I have an aura that fades from a bright shining green to a dull yellow. According to the books, that green means a love of people, animals, nature, and teaching; while the yellow means an awareness of self, intelligence, and excitement about (but not necessarily acceptance of) new ideas. All that sounds true to me.
Plus, and I truly believe this, it always helps to be a little crazy.
i am truly happy to have found you as my friend.thanks to ponys too!! thank you so much for this response. it was really interesting and we seem to think similar thoughts! i have to say, i once did a research on what my color of aura will be mathematically, and i got silver XD. but it seems that i have this bright light blue tone, because two different people said so. i though of you as green but i though also it was because of your avatar XD now i see it was something else too.*hugs* i have been able to "remove" nervousness and fear from my friends in several occasions, but it comes to me XD so it is nothing i wanna do without though(and they do not know of this) . i can block a little of pain if i prepare myself.(i see the pain coming, i let it pass right trough me but not stay, i cannot explain. but my knee, my knee is all kinds of wrong )
i always thought that not being enough crazy makes one impossible to live in this reality at all. but others usually can´t understand this idea and get afraid if i say this to them.
People don't like the concept of crazy because to most people all crazy is the same. In my view, there's three kinds of crazy.
First, there's crazy stupid. I don't mean this to be offensive, it's just how I see it. When someone doesn't understand something, they tend to invent an answer that explains everything, mostly because they fear the unknown and want it to go away. To people who know the truth about whatever these people don't understand, they seem crazy.
The second, the one people hate the most, is just plain crazy. This is usually caused by some trauma, mental or physical. It makes people see things as dangerous, everything is dangerous, and they take steps to protect themselves from the world, and occasionally lash out back at it.
The third is crazy smart. I tend to call these people blue-liners (I mention it in my signature in fact). This is the complete opposite of crazy stupid, where one person is the only one to truly understand something and everyone else thinks them crazy because they're different.
The one common thread is this: Crazy people see the world differently. This is why it's good to be a little crazy - if everyone saw the world the way it "really is", then the world would stagnate. Nothing new would ever be written, invented, drawn, built, or even thought if it went on long enough. That simply cannot be allowed to happen.
yes, i coincide with what you expose.i think also that people can be different kinds of crazy at different moments of his/her life.
the thing with my knee is as follows, strange. when i was like, 11?12? years old. (i used to do/to be a rhythmic gymnast)(kinda as a pro level) i got pain in my knee,but you see all my other pals keep faking(?) pain so they have it easy(we were tired?) i did not wanted to be a bother and said nothing at all. (it hurted like acid!!) (i were doing seriously the sport, you know, i love it) i did not want to miss the next tournaments because for the first time i was using my favorite elements,also. so i did not said anything, after all the pain was gone as soon as i got it. ok. but then my leg started to not work properly.that really angered me. so, being the lucky "can do anything" both sides in equal shape, i started changing the sides of all the exercises were i could not trust my leg. trainer was ok with that, because we thought i was having stress on that knee or something that cures it self in no time. gradually i got Osgood Schlatters disease. i keep it secret by covering the bump(it was so litle at that time!) but eventually i could not walk normally after practicing.i forced myself to act normal, but one day my brother saw me limping around slowly (i had a really unusually high pain that moment) and of course, he had to tell mother(grrr)(he promised not to!!) were i live at the time i got it nobody knew shit about the disease and i saw A LOT of different specialists and got NO HELP at ALL. they even tried to put something like a cast for three months and ruined my life and my leg.my leg, for some reason lost is muscular frame quickly.(in fact, it still does that if i do not exercise) that took YEARS to make my leg almost the same size as the other. ok they said: when you get your period your bones will grow and seal so u will be cured. ok.... it did not happened. so they said: well, when you stop growing it will be okay. (i kinda still grow a bit each year,so i dunno) they make me take medicament in doses that did not were recommended for people my age, made several different treatments took time off gym (AWFUL) etcetcetc. pain did go a bit away(i cannot sleep at night when it gets swollen, and medicaments do no help me very much for some reason so i do not use them ever) ice does not work very ell either.(and i do not want to worry my parents either) i got soooooo tired of all this!! it almost as i had to maintain a perfect equilibrium with its use, i cannot do whatever i want i have to think about tomorrow and the rest of the week,month too) anyhow, now i am much better because i do not do the same amount of exercise that i wish (i die a bit inside because of this everyday)i can´t knee down without pain. i cannot trust my leg even for normal walk some days(dunno why!!) they offered me to take an operation but they said the pain perhaps will never go again,or the huge lump over the knee, and also (most important) they said my leg could fuse wrong and i will have it extended straight forever XD. i do not want that and i do not have money. so, since everyone gets cured in time i decided to wait. and i am still freaking waiting!!!(normally its a six month disease) i cannot believe it how can this stuff hurt so much!! i have attained somehow a little high pain tolerance because of this and it has bring me trouble for martial arts. i cannot know how much something i do could hurt others as i do not seem to feel it properly myself! also, the pain in my knee sometimes distract me so much i cannot think straight! i am so lame, by now i should have been able to tolerate the knee better, and i do(because now i almost have no "holy crap so much pain i wanna die" days) but, the worst of all my knee does not work as supposed to. it keeps feeling as i will fall every step i do. sometimes it works others it loosens. other times it gets really strongly extended, like a cramp or something. is hard as a rock, i have to bang certain muscle of my thigh several times XD)(luckyly i can count the times this as happened with one hand,and i were alone, so it is okay.now i learned to shake purposely my leg to prevent it) sometimes it throbs,sometimes the pain extents over the whole leg. i cant predict anything related to my knee behaviour XD. and also: if anything touchs a little fast the bump, please, let´s not think about it. XD i once tripped to the floor and smashed the bump in the floor XD it hurted soo much. now i am able, if i prepare my self to knock lightly some times with my fist the bump and be well.
my skill of letting pain pass thru does not work with my knee, or with a molar pain not treated at all (not even taking any meds)in a week. XD that seems to be my roof of pain tolerance.
sorry for the rant, i never explained to anyone the whole info of my knee. i hate myself because i think i desired to have it somehow(by no telling anyone) and i hate me for not being able to develop a state of the art plan to deal with my knee on a daily basis. i hate me for being so weak. i am still learning new tricks to dissimulate it.and right now it does not hurt
I can't say I know how you feel, but I do know how the ones around you feel. I'm the only one of my immediate family that doesn't have some sort of painful disease or disorder - my mother has firbomialgia, a disease that makes your nervous system register intense pain in random places at random times for no good reason - my father has a condition the doctors can't nail down (mostly because he refuses to talk to them about it in depth, stubborn old man) that causes him to frequently throw out his back and lose the ability to lift more than a couple pounds with his right arm - my brother caught Lyme Disease at a summer camp when we were little, and every month or so it flares up as a swelling and advanced arthritis-like stiffness in his right knee.
You seem to be using a lot of smiling faces in this report, although I don't think you mean it. You regret not telling anyone, but said a few times that you were glad you were alone. I think you haven't made up your mind on this thing yet, so until you do I'll just say this:
The human body is a frail thing. The fact that it works at all is somewhat of a miracle, and the fact that we can fix so much of what does go wrong is even more of one. With the exception of the mind, the body is just a complicated organic machine, and most people have some machine in their lives that they've learned to love for and in spite of its faults. (Typically this is a car, or house. Yes houses are machines, I'm an architecture student, I would know XD)
i like very much to be alone, but i always think: will i be better than today if i would have said something? i like were i am now but i would like it better to be able to trust my leg. i know i will do it everything again, that is just how i am, but, if i knew that it will never cures up, what would have happened? what is done is done. i try to find this for my future reactions. sorry about your family,sincerely. i use XD sometimes when i laught of myself.as in making fun of oneself. alone you have nothing to explain to anyone.nobody will get worried,or jump into probably over exaggerated conclusions. talking about this with you, is hard. only some friends know almost the whole story,and now anyone that founds it can read it. thank you for listening and responding each message i put.it gives me things to think.
well, your gallery has two draw that in my opinion are well made. i can understand asap what you tried to draw. drawing is not easy.i practice a lot and did not develop much. (i draw and paint pretty crappy compared to people of my age these days) the important part of drawing is having fun!! the result does not matter so much, the "soul" of the draw is what matters! have you ever saw a really simple and naif draw of an adult person that does never draw at all(a stick figure,for example) but that is just too cute anyhow? XD that is what i love of seeing draws.